Dating someone who has had an abortion Chat female and male sex
After sleeping together several times, this guy told me that he was opposed to late-term abortions because he believed that women “should have made up their minds” by the second or third trimester.I’ll probably never be forced to seek a late-term abortion, but I couldn’t shake the sense that he was looking down on women who are. But we did spend many more nights together after he made his views known.After all, the goal while dating is to show off the most fun, worldly yet not crazy version of ourselves, and while abortion is implicitly linked to sex, there is nothing sexy about it.Still, I cannot imagine ever hopping into bed with someone without knowing now he feels about abortion and the current laws restricting it.Profession, state or town of origin, and a lengthy list of the most interesting hobbies that each participant can rattle off.A recent first date of mine resembled a geography bee as my date angled to impress me with the various places to which he had traveled.There is no easy way to slip it into conversation on a first date.On a second or third date, when we have moved on to feigning enthusiasm for activities like bowling, salsa dancing and traipsing through numerous local tourist attractions, it seems even harder to ask the question.
They both involve a great deal of verbal and physical posturing, specific outfits and, at least one party wondering how truthful the other was… Of course, a job interview is typically focused entirely on trying to land a position, while dating is a series of lengthy dinners and various recreational activities with the rather ambiguous goal of “getting to know each other.” First dates, at least in my experience, typically cover the basics.I want to avoid any situation where he’s hot, I’m naked, and he’s under the impression that he’s got any say over what I do with any unwanted products of this sexual encounter.That gets tricky, because even when I’ve zeroed in on a guy who supports abortion rights, a discussion of fetal viability isn’t the most obvious tactic for getting a guy to want to sleep with me.I may know whether the man sitting across from me is the “nice Jewish boy” of my (and my mother’s) dreams based upon stories of a childhood at Camp Ramah or be able to guess based upon a last name ending in “stein” or “witz,” but unless I ask, how will I know how he feels about abortion?
Straddling religion and politics, the A-word, as I privately call it, is at once both intensely personal and wildly inflammatory given the current political environment.Over friendly drinks, we had discussed our respective views on abortion—I write and report on feminist issues, so these things come up in conversation when someone asks me about my day—and I knew that he was firmly against the procedure.